The End of a Dream

This morning I spent my time as I typically do in Maine, all alone, while missing my Shenandoah Valley Watercolor Society meeting at home. Other things that I’ve missed while being in Maine are the Rocktown Camera Club meetings, hanging out with friends, my book club, time with my mom, game nights, home group ladies nights, and my church.

When I bought my Maine house, it was sight unseen, but the dream of many months a year with my cousins made it worth the risk. As time has passed, time with the cousins has steadily decreased. They are living their own lives and schedules, while I have nothing to do but work on the house and continue to sink money into a house I likely shouldn’t have bought.

Maintaining two houses has been a stretch, especially with the one in Maine being a major drain on resources. Early in the Spring, when I became an empty nester for the first time (my youngest moved back for three months this summer), I considered what to do next. I thought about selling or renting my house in Harrisonburg, as it sits empty many months a year. My mom has a small apartment in her rental house which she said I could use. This was my leading plan until this summer.

When Conner moved out and then Dexter, my dog, passed away a few weeks later, the fact of how much time I was spending alone in Maine came to the forefront. My thoughts turned to selling the Maine house rather than renting/selling the one in Virginia. It became a definite plan the day I sat at a soccer game and listened to my cousins discuss their upcoming family gathering that weekend, which did not include me. “Why am I here?” I asked myself.

I also expected to have my mom and brother, Don, up here more. The first summer in my house there were dreams made together, for future summers. I saw an r.v. on Facebook Marketplace and my mom said, “Let’s get it!” Don talked about coming up every summer, with his vacation time. The r.v. was never used and Don has never returned. I have had a few visitors, which was fun.

Though I will miss this state and my family here, I look forward to being a steadier presence in Virginia and to lowering my expenses. This house has cost me a ton and I’m still not done. It’s slow progress working on my own, but I’m also hampered by lack of funds. It’s hard to imagine having a summer without a ton of remodeling work to do. What will I do with all my time? I’ll take some motorcycle trips, go birdwatching with T.K., go camping with my mom, and visit other relatives I haven’t had much time to visit.

First though, I’ll have to return to Maine in the Spring to get the place ready to sell. I’ll offer it as a fully-equipped camp, as I bought everything specifically for this house and don’t need it in Virginia. If you’ve thought of visiting, that would be the time. Chip in a little help and I’ll show you around Maine!