sitting on the outside
not ready to enter
I hear my friends speaking
I want to hide
to curl up in a ball
try to make sense of things
the voices beckon
unaware that I am near
even so
they are warm
I arise from my seat on the floor
and enter
joining the fellowship

Sadness in the Day After

The outcome of the election leaves me sad today. Had it gone the other way, I would still be sad, for different reasons. 

I arrived at work early today and I sit at my desk. My heart is heavy. In an hour, my first class of students will arrive. There will be many of them today who are afraid. The possibilities of this election already had their families on edge. Most of my students are first or second generation immigrants. Some of them are newly arrived, refugees of war, escaping persecution and possibly death.  Continue reading “Sadness in the Day After”

My Life-Giving Friend

I sit here typing on my laptop, while my friend Julie sits across from me, typing on her own laptop. We sip our coffee, chat, write, and enjoy the beautiful setting here at the lake. Soon we will go for a walk.

Two years ago, on the same weekend, we sat at another cabin, with our friend Ann Marie. I wrote about that weekend in a blog post called Seeing and Being Seen.

Though that weekend was not the beginning of our friendship, it was our first large amount of time spent together. It was a big step for both of us – to take a risk in opening up to a new friendship.

I haven’t written a post about Julie before now. Even now I feel like I don’t have the words – that I won’t express myself well enough. Continue reading “My Life-Giving Friend”

The Written Word

“That’s really important to you,” my friend said. Her statement invited me to be curious about why it is so.

I had been telling her about how I often scan or take pictures of cards or notes that I send, so that I can look back and see what I wrote. She also knows that I often keep cards, letters, and e-mails that are sent to me by friends. I have file folders of correspondence in  my room and, in my basement, a medium-size box. That box is full of notes that were written back and forth in high school and college classes, before the days of texting. Why are these written words so important to me?  Continue reading “The Written Word”

Four Months

It’s been a year since I wrote my first letter to Annie, my youngest kids’ birth mom. The last year has progressed through several stages and lots of emotions for me. I hesitantly wrote that first letter in November of 2015. The immediate result was a flurry of letters back and forth, between Annie and the kids and also between her and me. I went on to join the JPAY system and Annie and I have used that to frequently e-mail each other.  In January, without my telling the kids where I was going, I further tested the waters by visiting Annie in prison. In February, I started taking the kids to visit. You can read about the journey we’ve been on by clicking on the “Birth Mom” tab on the menu, or by clicking on the following links – Wading in with the Birth MomBeyond WadingThe Boys’ First VisitGuest Blogger – the Birth Mom!The Girl’s First VisitMothers’ Day 2016, and On the Inside. Now we are on our way to another stage. Annie’s release date is growing closer.

Four months.

Four months until this “new normal” that we have found will change again. Continue reading “Four Months”